The Real Thing
by purrpickle
Summary: Rachel, while trying to have a civil conversation with her fathers over the phone, has to deal with a very, very amorous Santana. Established Pezberry, one-shot.


**A/N: ** I don't own Glee nor the characters within. Okay. This was another drunken prompt. Meaning, I was drunk when I wrote this (as well as posted this), but it's long enough to be its own story instead of a Scrap (and seriously, I'm anal enough as it is that my drunken work is _extensively _edited). Anyway, you can thank an anon for this prompt: Either Rachel or Santana are on the phone with one of their parents while the other one is teasing them and trying to get them off so they are trying to be quiet and still hold a conversation. Thanks!

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><p>"No, no, wait," Rachel made a face at Santana, pulling away as she tried to give all of her attention to the sound of ringing coming from the handset in her hand, "I need to make this call before they think I've died and fly over here to check on me."<p>

"And that would be a bad thing _because_?" Santana grinned, managing to get around Rachel's thrown up elbow to slide her hands around her girlfriend's waist, dropping a kiss to the meeting of Rachel's shoulder and neck.

Shivering, Rachel pressed back into her body. Biting her lip, she moaned when Santana's hands moved up to cup her breasts, "This is not fair, you know."

"What, this?" Santana smiled, dropping more kisses up the column of Rachel's neck, craning her head around to start nibbling her ear. "You realize you still haven't told me why this is a bad idea."

"Because I'm going to be on the phone with my _fathers_," Rachel stressed, negating her words when she dropped her head back so Santana's teeth could start placing bites along her throat. "I... _Mmm_... Santana! If you don't want two _incredibly _gay men critiquing _everything _about our new apartment just yet, you have to... You have to - _ohh_."

Just as soon as Santana's hands slipped under her shirt, rubbing her pebbling nipples through her bra, insistent mouth mapping the territory already well known to her, Rachel's dad picked up the phone. "Berry residence, Hiram Berry speaking," he hummed.

"Dad!" Rachel gasped, pushing her elbow back, trying to straighten away from her girlfriend, "It's... It's me. Rachel."

"Nuh uh," Santana whispered hotly into her ear, sinking her fingernails into Rachel's ribs to stop her from pulling away, "You've been a bad girl."

"_San_!"

"Rachel! Honey." Hiram sounded incredibly excited, voice perking up, "Are you all moved in now?"

Pushing Rachel's shirt up, forcing the girl to momentarily set the phone down so she could tug it completely off of her, Santana smiled proudly when Rachel didn't bother to protest as she unhooked her bra. "Aw yeah," she breathed through her teeth, pulling it off and away, "You guys were missing me, yeah?"

Rachel closed her eyes. "Yes, Dad," she managed, slapping her hand back to press into Santana's arm, pushing her ass back into Santana's pelvis so she was forced to wrap her arm around her waist, holding her up, "We're all moved in. You sure you... You can only come up this Easter?"

"I bet," Santana whispered, fingers stroking and squeezing Rachel's breasts, one by one, "You're already wet if I push under your skirt..."

Hiram sighed, sounding quite morose. "I'm sorry, hun," he murmured, "But that's the best time, for _both _your daddy and I. But! Please. Tell me more about your Santana and your apartment? Let me use my imagination."

"_Dad_!" Rachel gasped, only _just _managing to keep it 'appropriate' when the arm holding her up suddenly slid down her hips so Santana's fingers could start pulling at the hem of her skirt, "You've... You know what... _Mmm_... How Santana is." She swallowed, having to place her palm on the kitchen table, pushing back into Santana and spreading her legs, "Re-remember we went to school to-together?"

"_Yes_," Santana whispered, pushing her foot into Rachel's so she couldn't snap her legs shut, "Be a good girl and open for me..."

Hiram clucked his tongue. "Yes, Rachel, but if _you _remember, you and the girl absolutely _despised _each other. Forgive me if I'm still curious as to how that girl grew up into the woman you've sworn you love like no other."

Pushing her other foot to keep her feet spread apart, Santana smiled into the back of Rachel's neck, dragging her tongue down to start swirling around her shoulder blades. "Do you want me?" she rumbled, stroking her fingers along Rachel's bellybutton and below.

"_Yes_ I want you," Rachel started, managing to finish it (somewhat) mildly with a stuttered, "To get to know Santana. I _love _her and I know you w-will too." Dropping her hips, she slammed her eyes shut when Santana's hands dipped to tease along the top of her underwear. "_Santana_," she hissed, pushing the phone receiver out of the way of her mouth.

"And we want to get to know her," Hiram answered obliviously, "From what you've told me, she's turned into quite the young lady. You moving in with her would certainly seem to illustrate that."

"And you trust me," Rachel swallowed, "Thank you."

Splaying her hand over Rachel's belly, tightening her arm around her waist, Santana smiled as she pushed her fingers even further into her girlfriend's underwear. "I can feel you _aching _for me already," she whispered into Rachel's back, straightening up again to lean her body into Rachel's, making her bend even more, "Hmm? Do you want me? Do you _need _me?" She pressed a hard kiss into Rachel's forehead.

Hiram let out a breath. "Even if we _didn't_," he admitted, voice careful, "We'd still let you live your life. But you and Santana?"

"Mmhm?" Rachel managed, biting off a loud moan when a sure hand cupped her core, pulling up and pushing down, a hot mouth smiling against her cheek, moving with her jerks.

"You seem like the real thing."

"_Dad_..."

"Ohh, none of that," Hiram's voice became less serious again, "Your daddy's here to say something. Love you, hun."

Breathing in through her nose, Rachel clenched her teeth together. "Love you. Too. Dad," she gritted out, groaning as Santana ground into her ass.

"Do you like this?" Santana taunted, stroking her fingers up and down, threatening to pull her hand back as Rachel's shoulders slumped, moving down with her, "Or do you want me to..."

"Rachel!"

"_Fuck _you?"

"Da-aa-a-a-addy," Rachel barely saved herself, almost panting when Santana's hand moved from in front of her around her hip, dragging her wetness along her skin until she thrust her hand back under her underwear, this time stroking her from behind. Santana's fingers glided along her, Santana suddenly shifting so her two fingers rubbed _definitely _against her entrance.

"_Yes_," Santana murmured, pushing Rachel even harder over the table, arm moving down from her waist to tense along her upper thighs, holding her against her, "You're so wet and you'll _always _be so fuckin' wet for me. Lettin' me _fuck you _while on the phone with your _dads_..."

Leroy Berry smiled into the phone. "I hear that you're all set?"

_"Yes_," Rachel gasped again, dropping her head so far her chin almost brushed the wood of the table, pushing her hips up, slamming her hand that had been holding her up into her mouth to swallow the loud noise leaving her mouth when Santana, who had been circling her entrance, thrust three fingers into her without warning, spreading her and pulling back and thrusting again. "Oh - j-just a little p-_paint and_ - !" She had to bite down onto the fleshy part of her palm again, "_Santana_!"

"Santana?"

Thrusting again and again, reading her body and sliding along her clit when she needed it, Santana grinned as her girlfriend just became wetter and wetter, starting to close around her fingers as she moved in and out of her. "Yes, Rachel," she whispered, clamping her teeth into Rachel's neck, making her arch up into her, "What _about _me?"

"_Oh my god_," Rachel hissed, bucking and humping back, heart starting to pound in her forehead as she whipped her head back and forth, starting to shudder, knowing she had to say _something _to finish the thought her Daddy thought she had had, "_Yes_! Santana, she - _she _still h-has to - " She slammed her hand over the phone, cheek falling onto the cool of the wood of the table as Santana slammed into her over and over and _over _again, harder and harder, making the table legs _screeech _along the floor with each thrust. Her body shuddered, clamping down onto Santana's fingers, and with a wordless cry, Santana was forced to hold her up when her legs became boneless, aftershocks pushing her prone along the table.

"Baby girl?" Leroy asked, sounding so far away, and Rachel _barely_, _slowly _came back into reality with a hoarse, "Santana needs to finish setting up the apartment..."

Silence, Santana barely moving in and out of her, sending soft aftershocks through her body, lips sucking on her shoulder, and the hiss of the phone connection barely filtering through her mind, Rachel could only whimper when, with, to his credit, Leroy commented with a hint of humor, "That's great, hun. Just, maybe, wait to talk when you're _not _having sex? Your father and I love you but, _honey_, we _really _don't need to hear it. _No _matter how much Santana finds you irresistible."


End file.
